I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
