I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
