YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just pynch a tree in the face
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
