Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
