My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
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