woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
