i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
