Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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