It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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