Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize