Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
