sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
