I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize