I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
