Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize