atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
