OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
