You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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