He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Oh god it's open bar.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
