I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
