Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize