When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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