Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
