This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
