Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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