At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
