Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
