I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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