I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
