i jhust puked up my retainher.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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