well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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