well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
