Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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