One girl and one boy is just not enough.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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