So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
