so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
