Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
