Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
