I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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