I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize