Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Dicks are not precious.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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