so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
