absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
