Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
