My Higher Power is John Stamos
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
