so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
do herpes really smell.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
third nipple confirmed
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
