im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
