I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Vodka?
Forever.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
