My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
