I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
