He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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