i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
