my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We just shotgunned beers for America
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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