i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
