Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
