My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
