Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
