When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize