Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
