She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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